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10) Freaks of Cock

Freaks Of Cock

Bless ‘em. They do have a damn good go at trying to convince us that everything here is the real thing. But really, if you do believe it then I’d suggest you need to watch more porn, but amazingly there ARE lots of people who believe this. Like I say, they deserve credit for genuinely trying to have us believe that the 14” cocks, which mysteriously never seem to be fully erect, are the real thing. They never make fun of themselves or anything.

Having said that, pur-lease. Come on, guys. Most of us aren’t complete fucking idiots, are we? Do you really credit us with being so dumb as to buy this? When cocks ejaculate, firstly, they don’t just stop like somebody has pressed the ‘off’ button. Secondly, no cock ejaculates this much. And finally, WHAT DO YOU TAKE US FOR?!

However. Somehow it still manages to be immensely entertaining. How do they manage it? Well, the guys take it all seriously and the girls manage to react like they are being hit by a fire hose-like cumshot. Some, however, can’t keep a straight face (I’m looking at you, Eva Angelina!), showing the whole thing up to be an utterly surreal sham. An entertaining sham, but a sham nonetheless. You really have to see this, if for no other reason than to see just how dumb the human race can be sometimes.

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9) Galactic Girls

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In case you’re wondering why you need to see this, well, you can see what the site says themselves:-

“Where else can you find hot girls having anal sex with aliens and dangerous girls with guns and reserved beauties who look like they could bite your cock off but won't and 36" space monster cock going into wet pussies and more crazy acts you thought you were the only one who fantasized about?”

Okay, they may not be familiar with a comma, but they’re just about spot on with this mental cosplay site. It’s been horrendously underrated and ignored, in my opinion, registering barely a notice amongst most review sites. One wonders why. After all, how often do you actually get to see Jade Marcela fucked in a swamp by a double-dicked monster? Or Jasmine St Clair shagged by something that looks like it came straight out of Doctor Who?

I wouldn’t mind if the gimmick was shallow and wasn’t actually used to its full potential, but it is. The content is brilliantly performed for the most part, extremely well shot and they’ve managed to attract some of the very biggest stars in the industry into this site. What more can you actually ask for, especially when you’re dealing with originality here as well. Maybe I’m missing something, but I thought it was superb. And completely mad.
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8) Hot Legs and Feet

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It might seem strange to have this genre site above Denys Defrancesco’s megasite 1-By Day & 1 By-Night in this list. However, this specialist foot and leg fetish site is, in my opinion, his true masterpiece. I know for a fact that some fans of this fetish hate the immense glamorisation it gets in many adult sites as they feel that it gets in the way of the legs and the feet content, but I always think that’s a really churlish criticism of a site where almost everyone knows exactly what they’re doing.

Ultimately though, you don’t just have to see this if you’re a foot and leg fan. You have to see this if you’ve always wondered what that fetish is all about and why it has so many followers. Once you’ve seen Silvia Saint slowly rubbing her legs or various European hotties giving a guy a footjob in fishnet stockings, you will surely start to get it. They’ve even managed to snag Aria Giovanni for a few shoots recently.

It used to be the case that I didn’t actually ‘get’ this fetish for a while, and while I would openly admit that I’m not a true devotee of the subject, I do like the subject immensely and I’d say that quite a lot of that is due to Hot Legs And Feet. Plus, when you see sites that are dedicated to a particular genre struggling to vary their content at all and getting quickly stuck into a rut of repetition, you really do have to remember the extraordinary variety they have here to show what can be done.
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7) Suicide Girls

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Arguably one of the most widely influential adult sites in existence, Suicide Girls may have spawned piles of inferior suitors, none of which have come close to capturing the success or quality that this site has, but one does wonder if they have become a little bit too closeted and protective of themselves as they have become more widely recognized in the mainstream media. A mainstream, of course, that they are supposed to be separating themselves from. Ahh, now I get it!

Of course, you all know Suicide Girls now and its promotion of alt-culture embracing hotties and their desire to rid themselves of clothing at every opportune moment. But, y’know, I don’t actually mind all the imitators they have influenced. Actually, looking at how far ahead of the opposition they remain, they probably don’t mind either. Loads of copycat sites means loads more hot goth and punk girls displaying their tattooed and pierced bodies in copious amounts of videos and photo galleries.

Their transformation into an all-round culture site with film and music reviews, interviews of mainstream figures (hmm) and the suchlike hasn’t sat well with everyone – hence some of the competitor sites that are now out there, occasionally formed by disillusioned ex-Suicide Girls. But this is a site that I would always present to people who say that porn and adult entertainment have nothing to offer popular culture and art apart from quick titillation. And that’s why you need to see it, if you haven’t already.
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6) Wicked Pictures

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The online arm of one of the most influential, successful and excellent porn studios has been around for almost 14 years now and was formed a good 3 years before I made my first nervous steps on to the internet. With their strict condoms-only hardcore scenes policy which has been in place for over 4 years now, you wouldn’t believe the amount of backlash these guys took from people, occasionally inexplicably, demanding bareback action all the way.

Now I’m one of the rare souls who thinks that Brad Armstrong, possibly their best-known regular director, is rather overrated. I’m not a fan of his occasional attempts at making ‘proper’ films alongside the porn. But he is very, very good sometimes. That his movies, which have won and been nominated for awards galore, aren’t always the best that the company can offer shows you just how good this company is when they’re at their very best.

Wait, we’re supposed to be talking about the website, aren’t we? Well, you can get access to about 470 of their movies for a monthly subscription. That’s why you have to see this. You can’t download the videos? Yeah, if I were in charge of Wicked Pictures I’d let you download all of their videos and keep them for yourself as well. Pfft. And anyway, although I might not like their style sometimes, lots of people do and their budgets are now so big that they put some Hollywood films to shame. And not just Uwe Boll.
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5) Bang Bus

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So you can see what all the fuss is about when they’re in the news, again, for being unashamedly rude in ‘public’. Their name has gotten lost somewhat in a clamour of sites that have put ‘bang’ in their name in an attempt a quick cash-in, but the bus-based version is the original and best. Of course, the damn thing isn’t realistic in the slightest but its influence on porn has been enormous although not everyone would say that is necessarily a good thing.

I find it amusing that newspapers have run exposes of the site about the content being staged. Well, thanks for that. They chop down rainforests so that newspaper journalists can have more room to print stories that any halfwit could have figured out for themselves? Excellent. Genuine realism really isn’t the point of Bang Bus as far as I’m concerned as there are so many more issues going on here as far as I’m concerned.

Tinted windows or not, it’s the fact that they get away with doing this (and by now, everyone in the Miami area knows what they’re up to in there!) in ‘public’ and also the humour that they manage to come up with in the videos that really drives it (pardon the pun) and has influenced the whole genre enormously. Having been around for over 7 years now inevitably the ideas are starting to look a little dated. But it’s doubtful you’ll see a site that does this type of thing quite as well.
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4) Shane's World

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Excellent! It seems strange that the pornographic offshoot of the Saturday Night Live sketch has had a longer shelf-life than that which inspired its title, but there you go. And unlike most ‘reality’ sites that hit upon a great original idea that gained them mainstream recognition, they haven’t sat on their arses and just let the concept sail along. They’ve developed it, honed it, perfected it and made a couple of outstanding offshoots from it.

It’s been around for almost 10 years now and in that time not only have they perfected the whole college campus porn genre (to the fury of colleges all over the States) but they have also discovered a number of now big name stars along the way. I’m personally of the belief that most reality porn is a bunch of crap and not worth bothering with and whilst I’m not denying that a lot of staging and setting up goes into Shane’s World and its accompanying sites, there is at least a very decent semblance of reality at the same time.

Their ongoing YouTube campaign encouraging college students to post videos promoting their campuses as the next location for their College Invasion series (which I think is the best thing they’ve done) proves that they are determined to keep developing and changing and ensuring that their label stays fresh. The manic hardcore parties and orgies have to be seen to be believed, and I dare say that there might be some people reading this who have participated. Send photos!
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3) Crack Whore Confessions

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Ahh yes. Of course, there’s a good chance you’ve heard of this if you haven’t actually seen it. There’s also a good chance you might well have dismissed this as complete bollocks – there’s no way they’d find REAL crack whores to fuck, they’d shut the site down, surely? Not so. And whilst I can’t be 100% sure that everything here is the real thing, they do a damn good job of making it look real if it isn’t.

But, pushing aside my naturally doubting nature, I am inclined to believe almost everything that I see here. In fact, I almost didn’t feel right watching some of this – the teaming of occasionally poignant stories of women and their destroyed lives at the hands of drug use with subsequent hardcore sex scenes is one that certainly will not sit well with many people and it was difficult to watch at times. And yes, I suppose it could be viewed as pure exploitation but you could argue all day about this.

Ultimately though this is daring pornography and whilst you might not agree with the subject matter, in an industry absolutely clogged with the same old shit for so much of the time, here is a site that actively decided to try something different and controversial, and managed it. Having said that, bearing in mind how difficult this will surely be for anyone to get their kicks out of and be titillated by, just how can it be pornography?
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2) Porn.com

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It seems ridiculous that for years, Porn.com sat without any porn actually on it, acting as a placeholder site. And then PimpRoll bought it for an estimated $9.5 million last year and suddenly it now contains more porn than almost every other porn site out there. Which, if you think about it, is exactly the way it should be. If you’ve got the money, an almost $10 million investment in this site is a pretty sound investment if you ask me – you’ll make a fair bit of money, I’d suggest.

Because of the sheer name of the site, it was always going to be hard to really manage to pin down what the site should have, but I think they’ve hot the right buttons. A massive collection of just loads of different genres of porn that should please just about everyone should go down well and I would suggest that it has worked. I do think a massive amount of credit should go to PimpRoll though for actually bothering to make Porn.com the enormous site that it is. They could easily have turned out a half-arsed site and still made their money back in under a year.

But they’ve got so much porn on here that for all its faults, and they have a lot (the navigation can be nightmarish in particular), you can’t really turn this one down. Oh, and if you see other porn review sites claiming to have a ‘special price available to all our readers!’ then that’s not strictly true – you can pick whatever pricing plan you want when promoting Porn.com, so no-one gets a ‘special price’. Just so you know. Ooh, we’re ratting people out!
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1) German Goo Girls

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Their mothers must be so proud.

German Goo Girls is the site that is NSFW even if you work in the porn industry. Quite extraordinarily hardcore and extreme in its approach, this is the one site that I always genuinely wonder how they get away with it, but I always answer that question with the same conclusion – this is really all about trust.

After all, when about half a dozen huge-cocked guys are face-fucking you, spunking in your eyes, pissing on you, fucking you in the arse, spanking your arse and pulling your hair – at THE SAME TIME – you do need to be pretty sure that you trust every single person that you’re working with. And that’s why they can get away with being quite so extreme, and probably markedly more than any other site or company that I’ve seen before. It’s a quite extraordinary site.

German producer John Thompson hasn’t just stopped with German Goo Girls either, going on to contribute whole sites of content or partial ones for several others in this network. The grainy nature of the footage he shoots has led to some commenting that he isn’t actually a great filmmaker. But that’s sort of the point – glamorous, well-framed shots don’t really suit this particular type of content, do they? So in actual fact, he’s got it just about right.

It’s pretty fair to say that even those with a lengthy experience of hardcore porn may find this one too extreme for their sensibilities (especially any scenes containing the infamous Betty) but this is truly a site that everyone needs to see before they die.
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Missed Part 1? Read it now!